Setting healthy boundaries is a craft that constantly needs to be fine tuned.
Whether it’s with kids, partners, extended family, friendships, coworkers or superiors setting healthy boundaries can be one of the most difficult things we do in our lifetime.
In this episode we take a closer look at what setting healthy boundaries really looks like and explore ways to optimize them.
Episode 1: How to set healthy boundaries
What are healthy boundaries? (13:31)
Healthy boundaries are a clear definition of what’s ok and what’s no ok both from a time, relationship and money perspective.
Understanding that authentic love and generosity can’t exist without boundaries …
And that healthy boundaries are the key to self-love.
Listen to the show:
Episode 1 Show Notes: How to Optimize Your Boundaries
(:52) Jess Intro
(7:44) Amy Intro
(12:36) Jess Why setting healthy limits feels hard
(13:31) Amy/Jess Defining healthy limits
(15:30) Amy What fear feels like when you set a limit with family
(16:20) Amy Safety comes from within
(16:50) Amy You reserve the right to change your mind at anytime
(17:05) Amy Can you communicate the limit effectively
(20:00) Jess explains how it negatively impacted her life and how its likely impacting yours
(21:50) Jess How saying yes is bad for both of you
(23:00) Amy How to optimize what we already have with limits and boundaries
(24:10) Amy Be clear, concise and compassionate
(27:00) Amy/Jess Getting more done by doing less
(29:00) Key takeaways – how do you optimize your boundaries?
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How we struggle to set healthy boundaries (14:45)
Jess: So many of my self-destructive patterns stemmed from doing more and giving more than I was comfortable giving and resenting you for it. I didn’t want to let others down. It was easier to say yes.
For years it allowed me to live and stay in my self pity and victim-hood pattern(s).
I cared more about what people thought and I didn’t want to disappoint anyone or rock the boat.
I wanted people to like me, setting healthy boundaries has never been easy.
Understand that saying yes to something you don’t really want to do is a disservice to the person asking you to do it. That alone is mindset shift.
When you say yes to something you are uncomfortable with or don’t want to do you are robbing the person who’s making the request out of the fullest experience or learning moment they could possibly have.
How not setting healthy boundaries prevents us from living an optimized life (19:09)
Not setting clear, healthy boundaries leads to burn out, overwhelm, and resentment.
It drains our energy, mental clarity, and our bank account.
But know healthy boundaries are the key to self-love and treating others with kindness …
The are also the key to be able to show up fully for the people you love and live your purpose.
And nothing is sustainable without healthy boundaries.
Tips to help you optimized your life with healthy boundaries (24:04)
As Brene Brown says, “what boundaries need to be in place for me to stay in my integrity and make the most the generous assumptions about you?”
Always assume people are doing they best they can, this has been a game changer. It changes your perspective instantly and increases compassion and empathy.
When someone asks something of you ask yourself, will doing this move me closer to the life I want to live?
Listen to your intuition. What is your gut telling you?
If its not a FUCK YES, then it should always be a no.
Until next episode! Stay optimized ya’ll!
Amy & Jess
The Optimized Life Toolkit
With every episode of The Optimized Life Podcast, we like to empower you with a POWERFUL FREE resource that you can download and incorporate into your life right away.
This week we’ve put together a resource called THE OPTIMIZED LIFE TOOLKIT!
In it, we outline exactly how to zap brain fog and fatigue, optimize sleep quality, balance stress response and get your brain and body firing on all cylinders again so you can show up fully as the CHANGE MAKER you were put on this earth to be.
Click the button below to download it!
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